I recently stumbled upon this hilarious post by Katie, over at Something Winnderful , and was inspired to interview my own husband, much to his chagrin. Buwahahaha. Without further ado, (Drum roll please!!!), my husband, ladies and gentleman (I’m pretty sure my brother is the only male reading this), Hunter Jones!
Me: Thank you for joining me for this interview.
Him: Hello. (giggles and starts whispering in a dark voice) How did you get in here? What are you doing with that knife!!!!(Slides down couch and leans over so he can read what I’m typing, then starts punching keys on the laptop) Will it help if I do this?!?!?!?!
Me: How did Niki and I meet? Him: Fate! Who can really say? I believe there was some bully at church or something, and Niki stood up for you? and you’ve been friends ever since.
Me:Yes. that’s true.
Him: That’s what I thought.
Him: When do I get to ask the questions.
Me: You don’t. When you have a blog, you can ask the questions.
Me: What is the name of my blog? Him: They Couldn’t Be Spies. See, I hear things, I listen! (Starts looking around for things to mess with, finds my hair clip.)…this looks like an angler fish, or a crab! (Makes a lunge for my face with the hair clip)
Me: What do I typically write about? Him: Clothes, food, stories, D.I.Y, sewing. I’ll say anything that helps me get to the chili faster!
(that’s whats for dinner, people)
Me: What is Niki and my favorite thing to do together? Him: Talk…or shopping at thrift stores.
Me: What’s a popular fashion item for women right now?
Him: Clothes…I hear they’re in. (He waits to see if I’m laughing, then starts laughing manically)
Me: Why do women go to the bathroom together?
Him: Herd mentality. Safety in numbers…they need someone to talk to?
Me: What do you know about Pinterest?
Him: Hmmm…..(stares stoically into the distance) it has pictures, it’s where hipsters congregate online, and my parents. It’s your ‘imgur’!
Me: If you could have any job what would it be?
Him: Gold Miner
Me: Of like rich old women? Him: …Or supreme leader of the universe! And no, you’re thinking of ‘Gold Digger’, I’m pretty sure.
Me: What about me?
Him: A Mommy.
Him: Technically, not a job, but that’s what you wanna do. And blogging, and sewing, and making cute things. And ‘Retro-fitting’ furniture, or whatever that’s called.
Me: What’s the best place to shop for women?
Him: (Raises eyebrows, and responds quickl y…maybe a little too quickly!) World Market, they have those Green Tea Kit Kats that you love. (They are made with Matcha and white chocolate, and I love them!!! This guy is good!) Huh, actually, I think I shop there for every woman I know..maybe I should branch out.
Me: I do love those, and no, I like World Market.
Me: What does YOLO stand for?
Him: I don’t think that’s a thing anymore…..is it? In all your research on the interwebs, does anyone still say that?
Me: Not really…..but I’m not cool, I don’t use Snapchat. (Insert my maniacal laughter…cause I so funny)
Him: (pats my knee sympathetically) You is.
Me: What is our favorite thing to do together?
Him: (Quoting Tom Haverford from Parks and Rec)” Snuggle up like bunnies”….walks, ice cream, trips to the beach, chili, speaking of, I was promised some! (Man, he keeps coming back to that, it’s like we eat dinner every night or something, sheesh.)
Me: What do I do when I’m home alone?
Him: You’re a productive Bekkles! You clean, pay bills, shop, look at Pinterest.
Me: And what do you do when you’re home alone?,
Him: Sleep in, mess around, day dream, and then clean 15 minutes before you come home, so it doesn’t look like I was lazy all day.
Me: What is my favorite activity?
Him: (Smirks.) Foot massages, going out for coffee, going on road trips with me. Talking about stuff, and planning stuff.
Me: What do women keep in their purse?
Him: (Raises eyebrows again) Mace….at least one does, (meaning me) bad guys beware! Money, chap stick, keys, phone.
Me: What’s my favorite accessory?
Him: You like necklaces. It’s the only one that’s not ‘clothes’, know what I mean?
Him: It’s the only ‘extra’ thing you wear (He’s starting to slouch down the edge of the couch, and looking really dejected….)(He didn’t like that I said that…he’s reading every word, uh oh!!!)
Me: If I was a TV Character, who would I be? Him: (humming to himself, like Wesley in Princess Bride after he comes back from the dead) Pam from the Office, or Anne from Parks and Rec.
Me: Not as frumpy as Pam though, right?
Him: I thought we were talking character-wise, not looks. (Now I feel so shallow)
Me: Oh yeah.
Me: If you were a TV character, who would you be?
Him: Batman…I don’t know. (laughs to himself) Pete Burke, from White Collar! Although, in all honesty, I’d probably be more like Pa Ingalls from Little house on the Prairie. At least that’s who I want to be.
Me: So, middle age Michael Landon with suspenders, and an Afro?
Him: No, more like Pa Ingalls with tattoos.
Me: You don’t have tattoos, unless there is something you need to show me….
Him: You don’t know me! (snickers and giggles some more)
Me: What’s an acceptable amount to spend on a makeup item?
Him: I don’t know, like, I trust you to spend, whatever…I’ve never known you to buy stuff you don’t need.
Me: That was very vague, and flattering.
Him: Well, that’s how I roll.
Me: What’s an acceptable amount to spend on a dress?
Him: I defer to the answer above. I love you. (Leans in for a forehead kiss, apparently it’s time to go vintage dress shopping, Niki, buwahahaha!!!!!)
Me: What is your favorite trait about me, not physical?
Him: Your smile.
Me: That’s physical.
Him: Everything you do is physical! (And out comes the physics nerd)
Me: I meant, like personality wise…
Him: Hmmm….I like that you are sassy.
Me: What’s my favorite TV show?
Him: The Office.
Me: Sniff. I do love that show. So much.
Me: Anything else you’d like to say?
Him: Goodbye, thanks for visiting, see you next time! (Now starts lapsing into a southern drawl) See you soon! (Starts a deep guttural dirge) Chili time, chili time, chili time!
That’s my husband, you can see why I love him.
That’s all folks!